On manufactured non-controversies

One of the Internet’s less noble qualities is its ability to help people get up-in-arms about things that are non-issues. If you use Facebook or other social media, you’re probably hit with it on a daily basis—forced hyperbole that translates to simple clickbait.

andertoons4419I heard about the so-called sunscreen controversy some years ago when my kids were small. According to people who got their PhDs from Google, the use of sunscreen has not slowed the rise of skin cancer—it has caused a rise in skin cancer. [Read this article to understand the argument and then this article to understand why the argument is based on faulty reasoning, shifty argumentation, and sleight of hand.]

This non-controversy rests on a treasure trove of examples how people misunderstand science, and how people with preformed agendas (e.g. “everything natural is good“) misread scientific data to serve their own purposes.

These non-controversies almost always rest on the same set of fallacies, including:

Playing on your fears

We live in a pretty scary world, I’ll admit. A few hundred years ago, most people lived in villages and only knew what was happening nearby. Now, when a non-custodial dad grabs his child in Sacramento, we read about it in lights over the highway across the state. In our villages, we ate what we grew, wore clothing we made, and lived in houses we built. Now we are all depending on strangers around the world to care for our health and well-being. We trust a factory worker in Vietnam not to put contaminated food into our frozen meals. We trust a medical technician in Israel to formulate our kids’ inhalers correctly. We trust a flooring company that sources materials from China not to allow hazardous chemicals that will poison us while we sleep.

This is all pretty scary, and non-controversies play on those fears.

Vilifying science and scientists

When did it happen that the scientist went from pathetic geek to evil genius baby killer? People in general have never trusted science that much, but it’s only been recently that our culture has been placing evil intent at the heart of science. We’re told that “scientists who speak out” feel threatened. We’re told that the reason you haven’t heard about this life-saving idea is that corporations and the scientists they employ are out to sell things that they know are killing us.

The fact is that scientists argue with each other all the time—it’s at the heart of what they do—so scientists disagreeing on any issue is hardly news. And yes, of course scientists have biases and sometimes the ideas that end up being proven to be correct are ignored for some time. However, the aim of scientists is certainly not to silence dissent and make us all sicker. Arguments that rest on that premise are false from the get-go.

Cherry-picking science

One of the most maddening things about science is that it’s hardly ever conclusive. When it comes to something as complex as the healthy functioning of the human body, science may never be able to be conclusive enough to convince a jury of uneducated citizens. So when an article trying to fan the flames of a non-controversy cites science, it does so with a careful process of ignoring the subtleties of scientific research.

No single study proves a hypothesis—scientists pretty much agree on this. But they also agree that science advances by following the advance of knowledge, not by ignoring what doesn’t fit your agenda. Looking at the history of scientific research, you can find studies that validate pretty much any idea—and then you can find the avalanche of studies that followed showing that the preceding study was flawed or inconclusive. Cherry-picking allows disingenuous Internet fakers to grab your attention without requiring them to face the subtler reality of conflicting scientific data.

Confusing correlation and causation

This is probably the most common confusion that non-controversy articles play on. For a good laugh, look at a few of the charts at Spurious Correlations. My favorite is how “murders by steam, hot vapors, and hot objects” correlates well with the age of the reigning Miss America.

So in the sunscreen non-controversy, a big deal is made of rising skin cancer rates that correlate with rising sunscreen use. It seems so tempting to come to the obvious conclusion that sunscreen use is causing cancer, but scientists who have attempted to prove that relationship simply haven’t been able to do it. This is not to say that no relationship exists, but rather that so far no one has been able to prove it. For some people, that lack of certainty is maddening. It leads them to prefer manufactured non-controversies because they are so simple and direct.

Blinding us with numbers, facts, and statistics

She blinded me with science!” the scientist exclaims in Thomas Dolby’s song. And that’s what these non-controversies attempt to do. They cite fact after fact, number after number, name after name, and they seem so believable. But a preponderance of numbers doesn’t create fact; it simply creates confusion in the minds of people who aren’t trained to understand the numbers. And confusion leads to fear, which leads to… see above.

Why do people assign evil intent to scientists? I think it’s because of a fundamental misunderstanding of what science is—and what its limits are.

There are people who are trained to understand all the numbers, facts, and statistics, and they’re called scientists. And yes, scientists are human, all of them have biases, and some of them even have agendas. But who should we trust: someone who has dedicated his/her life to learning, investigation, and improving the human condition, or someone who has dedicated his/her life to fanning the flames of non-controversies in order to get more clicks?

I’ll trust the scientists.

What science “knows” will always be flawed and incomplete, and it will always be subject to bias and preconceived notions, but a skeptical trust in science is an improvement over living in a village that tries to solve its epidemic of bubonic plague by drowning all the cats.

Getting through this complex modern life we’ve been born into involves a lot of trust that we can’t avoid. The big question is how you’re going to make informed decisions about all the details that face us daily. Listening to the manufacturers of non-controversies might be appealing, but it’s not going to make you any healthier or safer.

A day that I failed

Tonight, I want you to know this.

Tonight, I am a complete failure as a parent.

Nothing has gone right today. Well, OK, I did get my teenager away from his screen by luring him to our local “gourmet gas station” for a lychee-flavored soft drink.

This was my self-portrait of despair from when I was in my 20's. Did I really think I understood despair then? Amazingly, I did.
This is a self-portrait of despair from when I was in my 20’s. Did I really think I understood despair then? Amazingly, I did. By the way, I loved that black shiki cushion in this photo. We had to get rid of it because our children would drag it out, set it up, and go crazy. Really. It was like the cushion was possessed with demons that entered our children and turned them into crazed munchkins. Finally, we gave it away to Goodwill, and they had to find other ways to inspire themselves to pinnacles of bad behavior.

But I’ll admit that’s not really a success, because I paid for less screen time with sugar wrapped in an exotic, overpriced bottle.

Otherwise, I have failed to do pretty much everything I set out to do:

  • One child shrugs and says “OK” as an answer to pretty much any question I ask
  • The other yells at me every single time I ask him to do the most minor of tasks
  • I try collaborative problem-solving and am told that I am a hyper-controlling maniac
  • I try to honor a child’s wishes and find out that she never, ever wished such a thing and how could I think she would?

Before I had kids, my failures were my own. Yes, it’s true that I was failing because it was all my parents’ fault, but since I’d been out of their house since I was seventeen, that excuse had gotten old.

No, it’s true, before I had children I failed, but I only failed myself.

Now I fail two precious, potential-filled human beings every single day.

I fail to remember what I learned about parenting from Youtube, Facebook, Upworthy, and even TED. Or maybe I remember it, but my very real children are somehow much more complex than the children in those uplifting stories.

Remember the first time you read that you should offer your toddler two choices, one of which was clearly inferior? First time you read that, you thought, Wow, that’s brilliant! And maybe you even put it into practice and it worked!

Once or twice.

Then one day you said to your child, “We are supposed to meet Danny in the park. Do you want to put your shoes on now so we can go to the park, or do you want to sit here with me being bored?”

And your child looked at you with those innocent eyes and said, “I’m not bored, Mommy. It’s just I don’t want to wear my shoes. So it’s OK if we just sit here.”

And he did.

Or perhaps your child said, “I don’t want either of those things. I want to throw a big, fat tantrum and ruin your chances of going to the park so you can sit and talk to the three other people on the planet who don’t think you’re going insane (aka other moms you know).”

In any case, the two questions thing, which you had been promised was fool-proof, had lasted all of two days in your house.

How about 1-2-3? Or was it 3-2-1? It’s hard to remember. You saw a video in which a parenting expert promised you that counting would bring your children into compliance. So you tried it!

And it worked!

“Git yer darn shoes on! 1—2—3!”

That kid was pulling on those shoes like you were holding a flaming torch to her bottom.

Next time you try counting? Doesn’t work. Your kid misses park day and forgets about it as soon as she realizes she can pull out the black shiki cushion, set it up as a fort, and launch spitballs at her brother.

You miss park day and miss the only opportunity you had that week to talk to other people who understand that in our world, counting is irrelevant (aka other moms).

On days like today, all parenting advice is irrelevant.

Except for this advice:

We’re doing the hardest job in the world. And until your kids are grown up and have kids of their own, it’s thankless, too. (Unless you are successful at getting your children to be polite with you, another thing I have largely failed at.)

So be aware that some days will be like this. You’ll fail at everything. You’ll end up in your office, typing madly into your blog software, hoping someone will hear your silent scream in the dark.

Why did I do this? Why didn’t I become one of the Childless by Choice? What can I do to rekindle my faith in myself as a parent?

And the only advice I can give is the advice I’m giving myself right now:

This, like all things in parenting, will pass. Your children will thrive (probably), and they will become who they will become, most definitely.

Perhaps with your help, perhaps in spite of your help, they will become functional adults.

One day, your child-in-law will sit at your kitchen table with your grandchild playing at his or her feet, and ask entreatingly, “How did you do it? You were such a great mom!”

And you’ll remember this day, and you’ll remember this advice, you’ll sigh, and you’ll say, “Well, there were days that I felt like I failed.”

But you kept going.

And you did.

Have Fun… and Be Safe… at the Beach this Summer

The most recent newsletter from Santa Cruz Parent contained some great advice about fun and safety for families at the beach. However, I noticed that it lacked one warning that I think is particularly pertinent to Santa Cruz: Don’t let your kids dig deep holes in the sand! I wrote the following article for Growing Up in Santa Cruz the summer after one child was killed and another was seriously injured after a sand cave collapse. These children’s parents were beach natives and caring people, yet they didn’t realize the risk.

*

My kids love going boogie boarding at the beach.
My kids love going boogie boarding at the beach.

For Santa Cruz families, the beach is our free amusement park. As soon as school gets out, families head to the beach for long, lazy, fun days.

Few parents will be able to visit Natural Bridges Beach this summer, however, without the accompanying sadness at last year’s tragedy: one child died and one was seriously injured when a sand cave fell on them. As a community, the good that we can make of such a tragedy is to be more aware of how we can keep our kids safe, while still having fun in our natural playground.

Experts recommend the following precautions:

1) Teach your kids about water.
As soon as they are old enough to understand danger, children should learn about the dangers of water and also learn to swim. Recommendations vary for the age when kids should learn, but everyone agrees that a child playing over his ankles in beach water should be able to float for at least a minute.

2) Teach your kids about the beach.
Beach water is a whole different beast than pool water. Kids should know that sometimes the water is not safe for swimming. You can check our local water quality website before you go.
Kids need to be educated about wave behavior. Rip currents are common at our beaches and kids who can swim should know to swim parallel to the beach if they feel themselves being pulled out to sea. Kids should also understand the behavior of sleeper waves. According to BeachCalifornia.com, “Without warning, huge “sleeper” waves sometimes hit the shore. These giants crash much farther up the beach than normal waves. They can knock down both children and adults, and drag them into deep water.”
Our local cliffs and bluffs are made of sandstone, a highly unstable surface. Teach your kids to pay attention to the warning signs. Noting the young adults who are often out on the cliffs can serve as a way to talk about risky beach behavior. Wildlife on the beach should be looked at and enjoyed, but never touched or bothered. Report injured wildlife on our beaches to the State Park Service.

3) Be a responsible adult.
Sometimes it’s a pain to enforce safety rules. For example, kids love the warm, stagnant water caught at slow-moving creek entrances. These bodies of water are permanently posted for unsafe bacterial levels, and parents need to be vigilant.
All kids, even those with more melanin in their skin, need to wear sunscreen at the beach. According to WebMD.com, “Research has shown that sun exposure prior to the age of 18 significantly increases the risk of developing skin cancer later in life, including the potentially fatal melanoma.”
Beaches with smaller waves and lifeguards are safer for kids. Choose the beach based on their needs. And if they are going in deeper water with a body board, even if they can swim, they should have a tether. Kids (and adults) can drown when they swim out to retrieve a board that slipped out from under them.

4) Sand caves are not safe.
Finally, it’s nearly universal in kid world that digging in sand and going in caves is endlessly fun. But parents need to be aware that on average, three people, mostly kids, are killed on beaches each year by sand cave-ins, often from lying down in shallow holes and aspirating falling sand. No child should be allowed to dig a large hole deeper than a foot, and children should be told never to lie down, even in shallow holes.
It can be uncomfortable, but parents can help other parents keep their kids safe. Many of the visitors to our beaches are newbies – we can help them by pointing out unsafe behavior when we see it. If the problem continues, you can contact a lifeguard or the ranger on duty at each beach’s parking area.

Enjoy a safe, happy summer!

Resources:

Now available