Educated: A belated book review

I have to admit that I resisted reading Educated by Tara Westover when it came out with a big splash in 2018. I was, frankly, so done with the “homeschooling as child abuse” trope that I didn’t even bother picking it up.

But strange things happen in a pandemic, and one of those is you are sitting on the couch in the evening, having finished your latest book, scrolling through your mom’s Kindle account and you come across that book you resisted reading…

And so I read it, and was (perhaps not surprisingly) pleasantly surprised. Westover’s book does not promote the “homeschooling as child abuse” trope in the slightest. In fact, I would suggest that anyone who maintains that opinion read the book as a way to understand the difference.

On the fringe of the fringe

Westover was raised in an Idaho Mormon community in a family way at the fringe of the fringe of their community. Westover considers her father bipolar, though he has never been diagnosed. Whatever his diagnosis, he was clearly manipulative, paranoid, and delusional. Westover’s mother was both victim and then co-conspirator with her husband. The family maintained fragile ties with their more mainstream extended family and community, but they lived largely insular lives where the children had no idea what the outside world was like.

The psychological abuse and neglect from her parents stemmed from their extreme views: about the roles of women, about eschewing modern medical treatment, about blind obedience to the father’s authority. Another source of abuse was the constant psychological distress of living in a household that is constantly preparing for the end—which is always just around the corner. The physical abuse, however, came from an older brother. Himself a victim of their father’s paranoia and manias, the brother takes the “education” of his sisters into his own hands, his physical abuse stopping time and time again just short of murder.

The “homeschooling as abuse” trope would have you believe that this abuse was able to happen because of homeschooling. But throughout the story, Westover documents the complicity of relatives, neighbors, and their community. Homeschooling, it turns out, was neither a cause nor an affect of the abuse.

Through the support of a different older brother, who has escaped to college, Westover decides to “educate” herself. She eventually gains a high enough score on the ACT to go to college, and from there proves a brilliant student who can’t be kept back.

Is this homeschooling?

In some ways, Westover’s “education” at the hands of her parents was classic unschooling. Her mother taught all of the children the basics of the three R’s, and both parents gave them life lessons. Her father put the children to work in his (physically dangerous) business and enlisted their support for his constant preparations for the end of days. From a young age, Westover also acts as assistant to her mother’s (illegal) midwifery and then her highly successful essential oils business.

Since unschooling focuses on releasing children from the tyranny of standards and curriculum so that they can pursue their own passions and do meaningful work, one could argue that Westover was “unschooled,” albeit unconventionally.

However, this is not Westover’s view or mine. What happened to her was not unschooling, but baldfaced neglect. She entered the world only with the skills that she fought for. She often had to hide her studies from her domineering father and her passive or enabling mother. She was lucky to have mentors in her college-bound brother and a friend in town. Any resemblance her education has to unschooling is only on the surface.

The village raised the child

Westover’s story, in the end, isn’t about homeschooling at all. In fact, she makes a point of noting other homeschooling families in her extended family who are giving their children a real education.

Her story is about the strength of the human spirit, the importance of believing in factual truth, and perhaps most of all, the role of “the village” in raising children. Westover’s father’s manias and her brother’s abuse make her family an outlier in some ways. But in other ways, her story is a classic one: what her immediate family couldn’t give she got from others.

An older brother acted like a parent.

A friend in town acted like a brother.

A college administrator recognized a need to meet her where she was.

A roommate patiently educated her in the ways of the world.

As much as Westover’s father believed that it was his family against the world, it was the world that made sure that his neglected children could thrive.

A final rift

There is one sad theme to the book that feels unresolved. Near the end of the story, Westover muses about the fact that her siblings who “got out” are successful, with PhDs and lives in the mainstream. The children who stayed, without even a high school diploma, are still fully within their parents’ sphere of influence, their choices limited.

Westover realizes that this rift forces her to choose between her education and the myths her family survives on. Like many survivors of abuse and growing up in extremist communities, she has to choose between fact and family, a break or a continuation.

In the interview linked below, she draws a connection between the choice she made and our current political environment. It’s worth a read.

The ultimate homeschooler?

Westover’s education didn’t come from homeschooling. But in another way, Westover is the ultimate homeschooler—despite her parents’ influence. She took ownership of her education and her life, a process that is difficult for teens even in the most supportive families. She educated herself, then she let herself be educated.

This isn’t a book about homeschooling, but it is a book about learning, perseverance, and coming to terms with family. It’s well worth a read.

Further reading:

For goodness sake, parents, be nice to your teachers, OK?

My life in the last several weeks included multiple surgeries for family members then sending our youngest kid off to college. County up in flames, 901 of our neighbors have lost their homes, many more have been evacuated from their homes for who knows how long, and the air quality was rated the worst in the world many days running.

Also, we are going into the most contentious, nasty election season ever.

Oh, and there’s that little thing we call a pandemic.

Oh, and classes started. And I’m a teacher.

It’s important to be empathetic

That teacherly side of me knows that parents are under a lot of stress. They are navigating tons of new territory, from (as one mom I interviewed said) “getting to know my kid again,” to learning how to do their job online, to waiting to find out how their kids’ schools are going to deliver education, to figuring out how to fill out myriad mystifying government forms.

This world is a big, fat mess. That much we can agree on.

I forgive each and every one of you who is in over your head and says things you (probably) wouldn’t have said in more relaxed times. I realize that when parents contact me about their students, they are often reacting to stress unrelated to my classes.

Remember it’s not [all] your teacher’s fault

I’ll start by admitting I’m not a perfect teacher, and I’m not the best teacher for every kid. One of the reasons I believe so deeply in homeschooling is that it offers kids the opportunity to learn in a variety of ways with a variety of teachers. Who doesn’t love a smorgasbord?

But please understand: I am an online teacher, and I can solve exactly one of your child’s problems: I can deliver a high-quality course in the subject that I am teaching. That’s all.

Don’t play the blame game

The #1 best parenting advice I can give you is not to protect your mistakes from your kids. If you messed up and signed up for a class late, admit it. If you messed up and didn’t read the instructions, admit it. If you messed up and didn’t test the software ahead of time, admit it.

Your acceptance of your imperfections will make your kid a stronger person, I promise!

And then suck it up and get the job done

  1. Define the problem. Don’t shoot off an email or make a phone call before you have figured out what the problem actually is.
  2. If you screwed up, all you have to do for your teacher is explain and apologize. Their job is not to fix your mistakes.
  3. If you need help, figure out who can help you. Hint: It’s not necessarily your teacher.
  4. RTFM! Yes, there are way too many instructions for accessing online education. That’s why you should start early and make sure you understand as much as you can before you ask questions.

If you screw up, be gracious

Your teachers are under a huge amount of stress just because of their job. You have no idea what else is happening behind that sunny face on the screen or voice over the slides. Our job more closely resembles improv theater than you might imagine.

A simple apology goes a long way.

If you:

  • Blame a teacher for your own mistake
  • Get angry at a teacher for software they have no control over
  • Tell a teacher that you expected more when the teacher is giving all they can give
  • Mess up some aspect of your kid’s education and then try to pin the blame on the the teacher…

Say you’re sorry, give them the benefit of the doubt, and…

Then move on

Because that’s what we teachers are doing, too. Through pandemic, fires, hurricanes, family troubles, financial trouble, and toxic politics, we are there every day, our smiling faces or voices welcoming your children to a little chunk of sanity.

This is hard. Join us in figuring out our way through it.

Calling homeschool pods fundamentally racist won’t help education equality

I’m sure you’ve noticed all the scary articles about how so-called “homeschool pods” are going to undo all the small amount of racial equity that our public schools have been able to put in place.

Need a refresher? Here, here, and here are the top three hits I got.

This argument rests on three premises that I dispute:

  1. Only white parents will set up pods for their kids’ learning
  2. Only affluent parents can afford to have a teacher or other educated person supervise the learning
  3. These pods have to function separately from the public school structure

The assumptions behind these premises are really quite awful when you think about it:

  1. Non-white parents are submissive to authority, have no personal networks, and are not fit to guide their children’s learning
  2. Parents who make less money are by definition less fit to guide their children’s learning, and are not creative thinkers who can pull together resources available in their communities
  3. The public schools are screwed. Run!

Learning “pods” are not new

Homeschoolers form pods by design or by choice. This was a group from our homeschool program learning about recycling.

First, let’s do away with this idea that by creating a hip new word for it, affluent white parents fleeing the public schools have come across a brilliant idea all on their own.

Sorry, learning “pods” are just a pandemic-era iteration of something that teachers, parents, and students have been doing for ages. It’s always been the case that people learn better in smaller groups. When that’s not possible, such as in a large public school, good teachers create learning pods within their classrooms. Involved parents create learning pods of their own children (if they have enough) or with families they know. Teens instinctively create study groups that, yes, have a social function, too.

(Aside: Please forget what the bean counters tell you: social interaction has always been an intrinsic part of a good learning environment. Without the R in recreation, no one would bother to learn the other three R’s.)

Pods aren’t new to homeschooling, either. I created learning pods when I was homeschooling my kids. We called them “clubs.” Other parents did, too. And I will point out that non-white, non-affluent parents have always done this. Creativity in learning is not an exclusive club.

Learning pods are not exclusive of school

All of the examples I gave above come from families who were attached to public schools in one way or another. We don’t have to run screaming from the public schools because they can’t offer us everything we desire in a learning environment.

In all the years we homeschooled our kids, we were always attached to a public school program. We had a 100% free teacher to advise us. We had some financial support for resources, and a 100% free resource center where we could access materials, make photocopies, and get support. None of that has changed.

Public schools should encourage pods, not assume they’re racist

While kids are not in the classroom, teachers shouldn’t resist pods—they should help parents organize them. Teachers can continue their mission of equity in education by working extra hard to include the kids who might fall through the cracks. In our county, that’s not only kids of color, but also English language learners and rural kids who need a 30-minute ride from a parent to take part in physical activities.

If you are homeschooling and forming a pod, draw on your basic decency

If you have just left the public school system—for whatever reason—and you are an affluent, educated, and/or white family, you can do your small part just by being decent. Or if you are staying in the public school but forming a pod to support your own kids, again, be decent.

By that I mean simply look around you and see who is not being included. Just as a decent host would do at a party, scanning a room to see if anyone looks uncomfortable or lonely, look around your school community and reach out. Offer a spot in your pod to a kid whose parents work too hard to help their kids with homework. Offer your expertise to help other families form pods. Talk to your child’s teacher and principal about encouraging pods within classes to offer extra support.

We are facing lots of hard problems

We’re in the middle of a pandemic. Our country has failed at a national level to lead a reasonable, consistent public health response. Our weakened public school system is teetering on the edge of collapse. Our communities are in anguish over the growing understanding of racial inequity built into our systems at the lowest level. We may be facing economic distress that dwarfs the Great Depression.

Really, learning pods are not the problem.

Learning pods are a very small part of the solution.

5 things to do TODAY to help your kids settle in to online classes

Yup, it’s the first week of classes just ended at Athena’s Advanced Academy, and it was a wild and wooly one! We have lots of new students, some of whom have never taken online courses besides the Zoom sessions that their teachers whipped up as crisis teaching last spring. This is my eighth year of teaching online, so I guess I’ve learned a few things. Here they are!

Get comfortable before the first day

Online learning environments have lots of similarities, but it’s the differences that will make your child’s first day of class frustrating and less than productive. Log into the system as soon as you can. It’s very likely that there are activities they can do ahead of time.

At Athena’s, we use Moodle classrooms and Blackboard webinar rooms. Each has its quirks and fun nooks and crannies. Our students can log in as soon as they get credentials and play around in our Social Forums.

Iron out technical problems

I can’t tell you how many kids admit that they and their parents knew about technical problems before the first day. Online teachers simply can’t help. So when we have a frustrated kid with a broken mouse or earbuds that only work sometimes, there is nothing we can do.

We also can’t help if you didn’t use our webinar configuration room to set up your child’s system. We really want to help, but we can’t. You are your kid’s tech support. I know you didn’t sign up for this, but just like cleaning dirty diapers, it comes with the fun parts!

Read the instructions

Sorry there are so many. You won’t remember them all. Neither do I! But please ask the teacher only once you’re sure its answer is not easily accessible. “Search” is available on every page of our site.

Special needs? Contact your teacher!

Online teachers can’t read your children’s faces or body language. It’s not the same as IRL classes. If you contact your child’s teacher ahead of time, they might be able to head of issues before they happen. If your child has had problems in classes before, you are doing them no favors by sending them into an online course without warning. Avoid TMI (too much information). Send a simple note alerting the teacher to an issue that the student might have and you might head off problems.

Be positive!

So many of my students are coming in anxious and concerned because of all the negative stuff they’ve been hearing. They think online learning isn’t as good as their IRL classes. They think their parents expect that they won’t do well. They know that people are arguing about education more than ever.

Help your child adjust by putting on a positive face when you talk about their online classes. Grouse to your spouse, gripe to your friend, express frustration to other parents—but convey confidence and an expectation of fun to your student.

Happy first week of classes, everyone!

6 ways to structure online learning for physical and mental well-being

The other day I went for a “physical distance, social closeness” walk with a friend at the beach. She teaches adults at a law school, and was wondering how to do her online courses in a way that would mirror how she teaches in person.

In the past, she had observed that her students, adults with day jobs, were tired in the evenings, so she arranged things so that they would get up and move about the room for various different activities. How was she going to do this online?

Yes, we were both wearing masks, just not for the picture.

We brainstormed some ideas for her, and while we were doing that, I mused about how my own students are no longer doing all the things they were doing before the pandemic. Most of them are probably doing online courses for much of the day now, even for physical education. Lots of them have working parents who can’t fill in the holes.

During the first quarantine, I paid special attention to my teens, many of whom are quite independent and not used to being at home with their families all day. I redesigned some of my activities with their mental and physical health in mind.

This coming year, I am planning to pay more attention to promoting healthy habits in my classes. In the spirit of sharing with other teachers, and hoping that parents will keep this in mind at home, here are some of my ideas and the reasons for them.

1. Incorporate movement when possible

Maybe this seems obvious, but kids are moving even less than they used to. At school, at least they were moving around the classroom. And during recess, they had other kids to interact with.

Movement is really not an obvious match with the courses I teach, but I hope to encourage them to move before and after class when possible. And who knows, I might figure out a way to incorporate movement specifically in my webinars…without inciting chaos!

We saw this man out making awesome bubbles when we were on our walk. Send your kid outside to make bubbles in between classes!

2. Get students away from the computer screen for specific tasks

It’s so easy for all of us to get sucked into the screen and think of it as real life. But that leads us to be less in touch with the environment around us. My classrooms (where students do self-paced learning when they are not in the live webinar room) are obviously full of videos. But I also incorporate real-world activities when possible, asking them to engage with physical objects, pets, and other people in their household.

3. Engage the senses

Obviously, my students are engaged with their eyes whenever they are involved in the class and their ears during our webinars. I try to make sure that my courses are visually and aurally stimulating. But that’s just a small part of the world.

Now that they aren’t getting as much sensory stimulation in their daily lives, I’m giving more thought to how to incorporate all senses into my webinars and my assignments. That will be an easy one in my new Yum! class about food and eating.

Even cats need to change their focal distance!

4. Get students to change the focal distance of their eyes

Our webinars are mostly around an hour long. Although I recommend that parents never schedule young students for more than an hour at a time online, many parents already did that before the pandemic. Now, most of my students will probably be online most of the day.

In normal life, our eyes change their focal distance on a regular basis. Aside from using screens, there are very, very few typical activities that we do that require us to sit with one focal distance for a long time. My plan is to try to get students to look away from the screen whenever I can, if only for a moment.

5. Keep students in tune with their physical bodies

If students are now going to be sitting in front of a computer for wall-to-wall online courses, it will be very easy for them to literally forget about their physical bodies. Breathing, focus, and periods of quiet will help them be more present in their bodies.

Teachers who have a single group of kids in an online course for hours at a time will need to find ways to keep the kids’ attention but also keep their bodies engaged. This will be a hard task for them! Since I never teach for more than an hour at a time, by design, I don’t run into this problem.

6. Keep them grounded in the physical world

All of us need to remember that the physical world is where we are. Lots of the services we use online are designed to try to make us forget. Kids are especially susceptible to becoming convinced that their online “life” is more important than the physical world around them.

Teachers can help students by making sure that their assignments and activities involve the physical world around their students. Even though we don’t necessarily connect with our students’ families the way that classroom teachers do, we can ask them to use their home life as a resource. Even though the room in which they are attending school is one that we may never set foot in, we can integrate that physical space into the world we create online.

Related:

Now available